Hi! I am Parul. My ancestors are from South Asia and I was born on Turtle Island. I use poetry, prose, poetic frames to unravel entanglements of our thoughts, feelings and experiences. Call it an evolving decolonization practice that is liberating the many intelligences our existence contains.
☝🏽 I read you this poetic meditation, or you can read it yourself! 👇🏽
i open at the close
a few words that embody deep imaginings, as riddles do.
i open at the close
imagining the acceptance of the inevitable, death.
i open at the close
a heart closed by accident. trauma, grief, hurtful experiences. separation of self. as you evict yourself to place of painful retreat. this pain feels controllable, manageable. because you are the decision maker, and unpredictable harm from others cannot enter.
i open at the close
by closing, you see yourself clearly. water settling. even though anxieties are flailing. you be with the moments of you. the external distractions quiet. a tender chance to find a deeper truth of self. to open yourself to a whole new way of feeling, being, seeing.
i open at the close
the brilliant bloom of a flower starts, pre-blossom, closed. as she collects her nutrition. awaiting the right moment to reveal. allowing space for wonder and delight to linger. the glorious blossom, more precious when pre-bloom was seen.
i open at the close
this feels like a meditation
i open at the close
tears streaming. releasing internalized crystallized emotions held so tenderly in your nervous system. emotions that may be ancestral, genetically passed on. from a time when howling at the moon felt so appropriate, i mean it still does. to release alongside mother nature’s rhythms.
i open at the close
can you feel your cells? the cellular trembling. the rumble that gives your whole body an electric feeling.
maybe you’re following me. maybe you’re not. in the abstraction lies pieces of your truth. dormant. waiting for a moment to be with you. the abstract layer creates space between you and your identity. where you hold so close who you are. dampening the sounds of your whole “kinky” self. until this abstract moment where you give space, breathe, beingness to the plural versions of you. that crumble when boxed. suffocate in titles. disabled by your self constructed identity.
breathe
find what wants to open at the close
non linearity
i believe
meditative mondays: i open at the close 🙈🧐💚